How To Slay A Vampire

So you ask. How do you kill a vampire. What works and what doesn't. If there are real vampires then we really need to know how to kill them. If one was stalking you then you really would need to know what would do the job. Short of getting the vampire to walk into the sun there are many ways rumored to kill vampires. Lets take a look at a few of the ways and maybe just maybe you can find out a way to end the life of any pesky vampire you may have stalking you.

A Stake Through The Heart.

Its said to work but what kind of wood the stake is made from seems to really matter in some legends. There is the legend of Judas Iscariot who many people claim was the first vampire and the father of all vampires. It is said that God cursed Judas and his family to roam the earth and until that time he and his family would thirst for the blood of Jesus Christ which they could obtain by killing Christians. In that legend it is said that a vampire can only be killed by a wooden stake made of aspen.

There are other legends that say the stake must be made of silver and blessed by a priest in good standing or it will not work. And there are even more legends that say the head of the vampire must be cut off and its heart burned or it will come back the next night at sundown.

So if your going to go around killing vampires then you want to first make sure it really is a vampire. You don't want to run out and drive a stake thru the heart of the first guy or gal you find dressed in black. I would suggest you approach your suspected vampire with caution. Hold a silver blessed cross out at them and see what their reaction is. You can also carry around a vial or two of Holy Water and sprinkle your suspected vampire with it. If there is no reaction from either the cross or the Holy Water you may not have a vampire. Or if all the legends are false you may still have a vampire and it just may be getting ready to drink your blood.

Mustard Seed

If you're afraid a vampire is near you carry around a small plastic bag of mustard seed. Legend says that if you pour them out in front of a vampire that it must stop and count the seeds. So if it was me and I thought it would work I probally would carry a big bag of mustard seed.

Garlic

If your really having a problem with vampires hang strings of garlic over your windows and door ways and if your really concerned hang a string of garlic around your neck. Legend says that garlic will stop a vampire cold in his tracks. Lets hope so.

A Silver Cross

Hang a blessed silver cross around your neck. And it wouldn't hurt if the cross and chain are both blessed. And they must be silver. Silver plate or gold won't work. Or so legend says.

Holy Water

It is also said that Holy Water blessed by a Priest in good standing will keep a vampire away. Remember it must be blessed by a Priest in good standing and you have to be close enough to the vampire to throw it on the vampire.Maybe you can use a good kids water gun filled witth Holy Water.

Nail It's Coffin Shut With Silver Nails

Okay here's the hard part. In order to nail its coffin shut you have to get close enough to its coffin to nail it shut and where do you find silver nails. I'm not 100 percent sure but I don't think your going to find silver nails down at the local Walmart.

Don't Invite It In

Okay I have a real problem with this one. Some legends say a vampire can not come in where its not been invited. Okay why would you invite in a vampire. Guess I'll have to hang garlic above the door and sprinkle all my guests with Holy Water belore I invite them into the house. But it could just be a legend and you could wake up with the vampire already in the house with you. If you do you better have the mustard seed handy.

Decapitation

Cutting off the head of a vampire is the only thing in this section guaranteed to work 100 percent but I would also advise making 100 percent sure that it really is a vampire before you try cutting its head off or you could end up in a nasty 6ftX8ft cell with a bunk mate named Bubba. Not sure what would be worse. The Vampire or Bubba.

A Stake Through It's Heart

Ok here it gets interesting. What kind of stake should it be and how do you get the vampire to lay down so you can drive the stake in. Some legends say any wooden stake will do but there are other legends that say you must use a wooden stake made of aspen. If I was going to stake a vampire I would go for the aspen just to be sure. But at the same time their are legends that say it must be a stake of solid silver. If so your probally going to have to make one. Why silver you ask. Well one legend says that Judas Iscariot was the father of all vampires and we all know the story about the thirty pieces of silver. And legend says because of that vampires can be harmed by silver.Again use extreme caution before you go around staking vampires. If you stake a suspected vampire and it doesn't go poof and vanish you will have serious legal problems.Remember Buba we talked about above.  

A lot of people will insist that there is no such thing as a real vampire. But what if there is a real vampire out there somewhere. Well if you do happen to find you need to kill a real live vampire you can find out how to kill him on this page or at the very least you can find out how to slow the vampire down while you escape.

Copyright © 2008 Thomas Byers aka crazyhorsesghost, all rights reserved.